Lost in Delusions
by TARDIS.Princess.90
Summary: Stuck in a Parallel world and she is still getting visits from the Doctor. Or is she?
1. Chapter 1

**Lost in Delusions**

Rose chose not to say with her new family after saying good-bye to the Doctor, instead she ran, taking cash from her bank account so Pete couldn't follow her, she left England. First she went to Ireland, then Scotland, she continued her journey to America. That was the first time she saw him, Rose was standing in line to see a play on Broadway, and she turned when she heard her name.

Her Doctor was standing there, in a blue suit, "Since when do you wear blue Doctor?" walking to where he was Rose tried to touch him but her hand went right though him, "Why are you here Rose? You should be at home." Then he disappeared again.

The next she saw him, she was at her first rodeo in Texas, he was sitting next to her in the bleachers, "You are worrying your parents Rose, how is this going to help you? You could be helping people instead of running away from your life, you were meant for so much more." Rose tried her best to ignore this image but he touched her cheek with his hand, "Rose Marion, Go Home." He faded away again, and Rose was only more determined to stay away from London.

Splashing around in the rain in Seattle, Rose was joined by her Doctor, who was in his brown suit again, smirking at him she asked, "I see your back in you usual attire." Looking at her quietly the Doctor looked to the fog covered stars and spoke softly, "Do you remember what today is? We met today, in Henrik's, who knew that the word 'run' would change both our lives so drastically? I miss you Rose Tyler, it's not the same without you around." Rose was quietly sobbing and when she looked up he was gone, that was the first time she considered going home.

Traveling around in the same way she started her next destination was Japan, taking in the sights she decided to go shopping, she was looking at a robot that made her think of the time spent on the SS _Madame de Pompadour_, and wondering whether or not to pick one up for the sibling she had left behind. Rose was leaving the store when the Doctor arrived again, back in his blue suit. He walked next to her for several blocks before she gave in, "Why are you? How am I supposed to move on and live in this place if you keep showing up?" he paused before walking forward quickly to catch up with her.

"Why Rose, from your statements I would gather that you don't want me here, well as much as I like spending this time with you, I'm really just here to tell you to go home again. Not that you listen to me…" she cut him off, "I am going back to London, this was my last stop, now will you stop nagging me?" she stopped talking and shook her head, knowing that he was gone again.

Rose walked through the door of the Tyler mansion, and dropped her bag; "Hello?" she called out carefully realizing that they may not want her there anymore.

"Rose?" she heard her mothers voice scream from upstairs, Jackie came running down the stairs and grabbed Rose in her arms.

"Rose, I am so glad that your home, it's been over a year, I was so worried, and Pete looked for months before he just couldn't anymore. Oh sweetheart, you don't look good. You lost weight and you need a hair cut, oh I missed you."

Rose let her head rest on her mums shoulder while Jackie rambled, and when Pete came home, she mumbled the word daddy and he wrapped her in his arms and told her how glad he was to have her home. After Jackie went to bed Rose told Pete about seeing the Doctor and he told her that if she wanted too that Torchwood would see if the rift was spiking. Rose shook her head, she knew what the problem was but she didn't want to confirm it.

Rose went around for another year, playing with her baby brother, taking pictures with her mum, going shopping with Mickey, playing video games with Pete during his time off, and writing all her stories of what happened with the Doctor in a journal. She had regular conversations with the Doctor; he only wore his brown suit twice more after that, on the anniversary of their meeting and of their good-bye. Sometimes she could touch him, and other times she found her hand just going right through him, Rose only shared these conversations with Pete, because she didn't want to worry her mum.

One day Rose collapsed while playing with Tony and her mum found her on the hallway floor with tony asking her to wake up, Jackie called an ambulance and then Pete who met them at the hospital. The Doctors scanned her brain and found that she had a abnormally large tumor sitting on her fontal lobe, as her parents were sitting by her bedside the Tyler family lawyer arrived.

"Mr. and Mrs. Tyler, Rose knew this would happen at some point, she saw a doctor in America after the first conversation with a man she called the Doctor." Jackie looked sharply at Pete who told her that he would explain later, "Well, she left some things for you both and for Tony, there is a journal which tells all of her stories, the TARDIS key, in case he comes back, so that he can find you, and she left you both letters and one for Tony when he is older. She left a letter for Mickey too, she also said to tell you that while she loves you both, her heart never left that daft man with a blue box, and not to worry because she may not be here with you but she is happy where she is." With that the lawyer left the family to say their good-byes to Rose.

She was running, and he was running to her as well, there was a red head to the right but she didn't care she got to be with her Doctor again, and then they saved the world and traveled the stars together again.

Rose smiled in her sleep and then left her parents alone with Tony. Holding each other both Jackie and Pete had tears falling down their faces; kissing Rose on the forehead they left the room to go tell Mickey that Rose was gone.

_Dear Mum,_

_This probably isn't how you imagined my good-bye, and it wasn't my ideal fare thee well either but mum, it's okay. I love you, and you're a wonderful mum, don't forget about Tony okay? He is going to need you, make sure you love him and give him everything the way you gave it all to me. Enjoy your second chance with Pete, you deserve it more then anyone else. You were amazing mum, and I got to see the stars, how could I stay home after that? I missed you but I was at the beginning of a new life, I only wish it hadn't ended so soon. But your not going to have to worry anymore, if your reading this then I'm with the Doctor again, in one way or another, I'm going to miss you mum, have a cuppa for me, will you?_

_Always, Rose M. Tyler_


	2. Where is She?

**_Where is she?_**

Mickey moved in with Jackie and Pete to help with Tony, so he was there about 6 months later when the unmistakable sound of the TARDIS started. Putting Tony in his bedroom, Mickey ran out to the living room where a blue box was slowly appearing, the key on the table was glowing and all Mickey could do was sink into the couch and wait.

The Doctor came bounding out of the TARDIS, happy as could be, he hoped rose had her key on her because he could only stay for about an hour or he'd be stuck. What he saw was Mickey sitting on a couch in what looked like the Tyler mansion, "Well, Where is she?" Looking around he saw no signs of Rose, he saw Mickey pat the couch next to him so he sat down, still not understanding, "Is she out shopping with Jackie?"

Mickey had tears silently streaming down his cheeks as he handed the Doctor the little journal that Rose had left behind for Tony, they had made a copy of it for Tony and decided to keep the original for the Doctor in case he ever showed up because they a letter for him in the back of it. The Doctor read though the first two pages before he turned to Mickey and asked in a strangled voice, "Did she tell anyone?"

Mickey shook his head, "Only Pete and she wouldn't let him test her, she went traveling for a while and ended up in America, apparently she got tested there when she first saw you in New York. She wasn't sure if it was all real or not but she said, in her letter to me, that she thought that sometimes it must actually be you because she had never sent the blue suit before but she had a feeling you were actually wearing it." The Doctor put his head in his hands and cried once again for the love he had let slip through his fingers.

Jackie and Pete came home then, "Hey Mickey! How is Tony? What did you…" she stopped short when she saw the Doctor crying, and though it still hurt that her baby girl was gone she knew that it was not his fault and so she dropped her bags and sat next to him, putting her arms around him. "I'm sorry Doctor, I'm so sorry. She said that no matter what happened she was with you, she knew what was going to happen and the only people she worried about was us, and you."

The Doctor looked at Jackie and Pete with red-rimmed eyes, getting up he shook Pete's hand, hugged both Mickey and Jackie, and then walked back into the TARDIS. Hitting the buttons to go home, he left the console room to read through the journal, it was the last thing he had of Rose, and he wanted to cherish it.

Several hours later after reading through all of the adventures they had from Rose's point of view, he realized just how much she loved him and how badly he had hurt her with Reinette, but that she still wanted to stay with him, learning to see them through her eyes, he wished that he had just told her how he felt. Reading about her travels around the world and how he had appeared, he would have to agree that maybe she tapped into his mind occasionally, because he had worn the blue suit and he did wear the brown for those two days.

Then he got to the letter and that broke his heart even more,

_Dear Doctor,_

_How I wish I could see again before I go, I loved traveling the stars with you. You changed my life you know, everything I thought, how I looked at my life. I missed you but I knew I would be okay eventually but then I found out about the tumor and that was when I thought I should stay away from home so my parents would never have to know, it wasn't until Seattle when I knew I would have to go home, I'm not sure what changed my mind, but I think it was how sad you looked. Knowing how special that day should have been but instead we were both alone, it made me realize that my parents deserved time with me before I was gone. See, you weren't even really there and you changed how I thought. I'm going to miss you Doctor, I know you'll find a way back but by then I will be gone, I don't have much longer left. I love you, I always will, don't be alone okay? You need someone, I want you to have someone, and if you fall in love again, don't wait, don't hide yourself away until it's too late, let me teach you something. Good-bye My Doctor._

_Rose_

Every now and then one of his companions would find this journal in the library and some would ask about it, when they did the Doctor would smile, a little bitter-sweet smile, that shared a wealth of emotions and he would answer with the same answer every time, "It was my friend Roses, I lost her on an alternate universe and didn't get to her in time," then his smile would get a little brighter and he would look into their eyes, "And I loved her, she taught me that it was okay to love, and that's why you're here." Then he would start talking about where they should go next, this happened with more then one companion over the next several centuries, he never again fell in love with any of them, but he also never stopped telling them that he cared for them.


End file.
